


perfect illusion

by granteares



Series: PataterWeek 2017 [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: @ coyotes fans sorry for vaguely shittin on ur team i'm a Bitter sharks/flyers fan, Alcohol, Fake/Pretend Relationship, I failed at inserting Swoops into this my B, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kent needs to learn how to be a responsible bean, M/M, at least he knows he is flawed, at least i'm 3 for 3 with including a hockey game somehow, background Bitty, background Jack Zimmermann, background zimbits, recreational alcohol use, sorry for the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9634769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/granteares/pseuds/granteares
Summary: [[ check out the expanded version of this fic: "what it means to crush" !! ]]The only reason Kent agreed to this ridiculous scheme is because he's been in love with Alexei for a good year and can never say "no" to him. Not when he looks at him like Kent is actually a good person who makes him happy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fake dating is my fucking JAM yo. I literally never get tired of this trope. As always: unbeta’d. Feel free to let me know if there’s any glaringly bad mistakes, I’ll edit them ASAP! Enjoy ((:

**_Providence Falconers’ Alternate Captain Jack Zimmermann, Son of “Bad” Bob Zimmermann, Comes Out: First Gay Player in NHL_ **

 

It had been Alexei’s hare-brained fucking scheme.

But it had also kind of made sense at the time.

Just as Jack had warned him, his coming out publically had led to a lot of implications against Kent. What with the suspicions that had persisted about them since their days in Juniors. It was even worse than it had been then, with one of them now having confirmed he wasn’t straight.

Kent had been starting to feel like his hand was being forced, that it might actually be safer if he came out, than to have the speculations and looks thrown his way— to have the rumors keep blowing up like they were. At least if people were going to insult him, he could truly be himself while they did, instead of feeling like he couldn’t bite back.

Then Alexei had texted him: _Want to talk with you about something. We can Skype after your game tonight?_

And the thing was, Kent could never say ‘no’ to Alexei, not with the kind of ridiculously large crush he had on the equally ridiculously large Russian. It was an Alexei-sized crush. So even though he knew he’d be exhausted as fuck after a game against the fucking Coyotes, and it’d be late as fuck for Alexei in Providence to stay up waiting for him to get back to the hotel, he agreed. His mind took the rest of the day to create a dozen best- and worst-case scenarios about what Alexei needed to tell him.

He hadn’t expected Alexei to propose that they come out. Together— as dating. That hadn’t even been on Kent’s fucking list.

“Seriously?” Kent had asked, dumbfounded.

“You say you thinking about coming out, and Jack… having lots of trouble being out alone. Many guys on ice— many reporters— they not being good people…” Kent had known that: Jack had told him the response had so far been equally good and bad. For every supportive player there was one who was checking Jack during a game when he didn’t even have the puck. But Jack had said he was doing okay; he’d prepared himself for this. “I’m thinking— will help him if he not being alone. Would be taking some attention off him,” Alexei had continued, shifting uncomfortably.

“But you…” Kent had known for a while that Alexei was bi— they’d known each other for years now, and it had come up when Alexei had admitted to him he knew about Jack— about Jack and him. Kent had had his suspicions before. Though there was a lot of tiptoeing, Kent had found a few other LGBT players in the league— they had to have each others’ backs. It also led to rumors of who else might be in the club. However, Alexei had some reasons not to come out that the non-Russian players didn’t have. “What about Russia? You said you probably wouldn’t be allowed back…”

Alexei had shrugged. “I’m… It is okay. Falcs— you, too— are being family and home now. Will be able to get family to visit here, maybe… I’m being tired of hiding, and not liking to see Jack alone. Hurt.”

“Okay,” Kent had agreed. _Fuck my life_ , he had thought— how could he pretend to date Alexei without losing his mind, when he’d been wanting to actually date him for at least a year?

“Really?” Alexei’s eyes had brightened, a smile on his face. He was so warm, so happy and inviting. Kent couldn’t say no. He just couldn’t.

“Y-Yeah… I— We should help Jack.”

 

_/ x \\_

 

They had taken some time to figure out the details of their arrangement, Kent dying inside a little more each time they talked about how they had met, how long they had been dating before deciding they didn’t want to hide their love anymore— _if they had said ‘I love you’ yet_. He would never admit to Alexei that most of the time after the phone calls and Skype sessions and the one time they had talked in person about it because they were close enough to meet, that he couldn’t keep himself from crying, because it was all _fake_ , all this stuff he actually _wanted_. It only figured, that little self-deprecating voice in his head told him, because this was Kent’s life they were talking about; this was exactly the type of masochistic situation Kent would throw himself into. It was far too late to tell Alexei he liked him, though. Not now that he had agreed to pretending they had been in a committed relationship the past year and a half. It’d just be creepy, surely.

Then, three weeks later, with the approval of both of their PR teams, they had made the announcement in an interview, the same way Jack had done. Alexei had held his hand the entire time, squeezing it every time Kent could feel his words getting caught in his throat or his leg started to bounce anxiously. They had, of course, left the press room together— hands still entwined. Actually, Alexei hadn’t let go of his hand until they had reached the man’s car. Alexei had asked if he wanted to get some food; Kent had asked if they could just go back to Alexei’s house. He had been exhausted at that point and wasn’t sure he could himself together much longer. He hadn’t said that out loud, but Alexei had nodded, looking like he could tell.

Kent had spent the night in Alexei’s guest room, because they had scheduled the interview for the first day of a two-day break for the Aces, so Kent could be seen in Providence for a little bit. Not that anyone could blame them if they weren’t caught together that often, what with two opposing teams’ schedules.

 

_/ x \\_

 

That had been six months ago, and Kent wondered if he’d ever get used to the pain of dating-but-not-dating Alexei. It was a constant reminder in his head. In public, they did everything a couple did. They were photographed on dates, holding hands and exchanging kisses— and that was the best-worst part, the kissing, because kissing Alexei was better than kissing Jack had ever been, and Kent wanted to cry, wanted to ask, wanted to yell: _Don’t you feel the sparks, too?_ He _couldn’t_ be the only one who felt a shiver go down his spine every time Alexei leaned over and pressed his lips to some part of Kent.

At least coming out _had_ helped him— all three of them— a little bit. Jack and Kent had agreed to admit that yes, they had a past. It had been more of a weight off Kent’s shoulder to have that officially out in the world than Kent had known it would be. There were still the assholes, they weren’t going to go away, and Kent wasn’t oblivious enough to realize that a lot of his questions during interviews were suddenly related to his sexual orientation, that when someone on an opposing team checked him it was sometimes far harder than necessary. But not being alone, telling the world _‘hey, there’s more than Jack in here, so lay off’_ did seem to have softened the blow. Kent also wondered sometimes if people believing that the formidable-on-ice giant that was Alexei Mashkov was his boyfriend also helped protect him a little. Other teams weren’t quick to give Alexei a provocation on the ice, even though many knew his personality off the ice was the complete opposite of scary.

He was in Providence for a few days, the Aces having another break in their schedule.

Honestly, Kent would have probably come even if didn’t have an appearance to keep up as Alexei’s devoted beau. Alexei had two games while Kent was over, but thankfully the Falcs’ current schedule was a string of home games, so he’d be around. Kent never minded going to Falcs practices or games, anyway, cheering on two of his best friends next to Jack’s boyfriend Bitty, whom he had managed to befriend after reconciling with Jack.

The Falcs’ first game while Kent was over was a disappointing loss for the blue-and-white, which meant that when Kent met Alexei when he exited the locker room, the Russian was grumpy and quiet. Kent took his hand and pecked his cheek— because that was what good fake boyfriends did— and dragged him out of the arena and back to Alexei’s house so he could get some food in him and they could watch a movie they’d both seen a hundred times before, because Kent had learned two years ago that when Alexei needed to unwind, he needed a break from trying to translate English.

The Falcs’ second game was a win, but Alexei professed he was too tired to go out with the guys and just wanted to go home and sleep (to suggestive looks between Alexei and Kent and a handful of chirps, and Kent _wished_ ). So Kent took him home, again, and watched as Alexei plopped down on the couch, not even making it to his bed before falling asleep. Kent laid a blanket over him and went up to the guest bedroom, which pretty much permanently had some of his things in it at this point, really, because Kent had been visiting more. It was just practical.

The third game was another win, a surprising one, and Alexei was buzzing with energy when Kent met him outside the locker room, drawing him into his arms and kissing Kent’s lips with a smile as the other Falcs started making their way out, too. Kent closed his eyes, leaning into the kiss, because he savored each one. wondering which would wind up being the last, because certainly they couldn’t keep this up for the rest of their lives. Eventually, Alexei was going to fall in love with someone, and someone was going to fall in love with Alexei— because everyone should be in love with Alexei. And Kent couldn’t keep him, then. He would have no right. So he had to appreciate these moments, even as they simultaneously hurt him.

When Alexei pulled away, he was still smiling. “We go out for drinks with guys, da?”

Kent nodded, because he couldn’t say no, not when Alexei looked like that. “Sure, babe.” And somehow, Alexei’s wide grin only seemed to grow wider.

He led Kent out of the arena, fingers entwined, to the car. Not long after, they were at the bar; the same one the Falcs usually frequented, because no one bothered them there, and Kent agreed that it had a good atmosphere— laid-back, but fun, like the Falconers’ players were themselves. Kent took a seat at the bar counter, and felt Alexei drape himself over Kent, arms falling over his shoulders, hands clasping over Kent’s chest. Alexei was a solid, warm presence behind him.

“Whatever you are wanting, get, my treat tonight,” Alexei murmured by his ear— and shit, okay, Kent needed something _strong_ if Alexei was going to be like _that_ in public tonight.

“Th-Thanks,” Kent said— and, no, it didn’t come out as a _squeak_ , thank you very much. He cleared his throat, and ordered a rum-and-Coke. He heard Alexei order something with vodka, because damn, he was predictable.

As soon as the drink was in front of him, Kent took a long sip, and tried to relax in Alexei’s arms.

“Okay, Kent?” Alexei asked, leaning in a way that he could better see Kent’s face.

“Mmm,” Kent hummed, “Fine.”

He could tell Alexei didn’t believe him, but was grateful he also didn’t push the issue. Kent took another sip from his drink. A few more of these and he definitely would be fine— until morning, at least.

Kent soon lost track of time— and drinks— as the night unraveled into a celebration of the Falcs’ victory. They may be a laid-back group, but it didn’t mean they didn’t _party_ when it was well-deserved. Soon enough, Kent was hanging onto Alexei just as much as Alexei was hanging onto him. Alexei didn’t seem to mind that Kent was being clingy, anyway, which practically made Kent giddy.

“You are having good time, Kenny?” Alexei asked eventually, their bodies so close together… Kent was so fucking hot— between the alcohol, the fact he had just left the dance floor where he’d been with Bitty for a few songs, and now Alexei’s body heat… Shit. He was too drunk.

He nodded his head. “So much fun, baby,” he murmured, somewhat registering the slight slur to his words. “Like, so much. You know I fuckin’ love you, right?” And something about that sentence was off, but he wasn’t sure why, just that it felt important to let Alexei know he _loved him_.

Alexei gripped him a little tighter in his arms. “I’m love you, too, Kent.” It had a mechanical sound to it; Kent felt his lips twist into a frown, because Alexei didn’t _get it_ , didn’t get that Kent wasn’t just _saying it_ , that this wasn’t another stupid fucking fake-boyfriend thing.

“No,” Kent argued, “Like— Alexei— Dude. I _love_ you, like… so fuckin’ _much_.” He looked up into Alexei’s face, but he wasn’t really sure what the expression in Alexei’s eyes was right now, nor was he totally sure what his own face was doing.

“I’m thinking is time we are going home, Kent,” Alexei said, quiet. “Time for you to be getting some water and sleeping off drinks.”

“ _No_ ,” Kent whined. “I’m having fun, please, we can stay. I’ll be good.”

“You never being good,” Alexei said, a soft smile on his face— he was chirping him, Kent knew that, at least. “Want to go home, Kenny, please. Let’s go home.”

Kent sighed, knew he was pouting now, but like usual, he always caved to Alexei’s requests. “Okay.”

So Alexei dragged him out of the bar with quick goodbyes to his teammates, and Kent curled up in the passenger’s seat and looked out his window, because he could admit to himself that he was a dramatic motherfucker, and feeling disappointed. He could feel Alexei’s eyes on him occasionally, but the other man didn’t say anything. Then, they were home, and Alexei was helping Kent out of the car.

“I can do it m’self,” Kent mumbled grumpily, even as he stumbled out and Alexei had to catch him.

“Of course, Kenny.” There was laughter in Alexei’s voice, so Kent looked at him with another pout. Alexei rolled his eyes. “Come on, котёнок.”

“ _When_ will you tell me what that _means_?” Kent whined.

“When you are being done arguing with me,” Alexei chirped back. He put his arms around Kent, lifting him up with so little effort that Kent was speechless— breathless, even— for a moment. “Mmm, is much better,” Alexei commented good-naturedly. Kent just gave a weak, half-hearted noise of protest as Alexei carried him inside.

Kent figured Alexei would take him to the guest room, but suddenly found himself in _Alexei’s_ room, being placed down on the bed. “Huh?”

“Just stay. I'm going to get water for you, then we sleep…” Alexei ran a hand down his face, suddenly looking tired. “We having things to talk about in morning,” he muttered

Kent gulped. He’d fucked up, hadn’t he? Alexei was going to fake-break-up with him… _Fuck_. He could barely bring himself to nod his head, sitting cross-legged in the middle of Alexei’s big bed. He watched Alexei exit the room, and Kent buried his face in his hands, trying to hold himself together.

“Kenny— Hey, котёнок… It’s okay,” Alexei was suddenly in the room again, taking Kent’s hands away from his face. “Not being mad with you.” He put the glass of water he’d fetched for Kent in the blonde’s hand, and stared at him until he took a sip. Alexei gave him a content smile. “Good. Now, we sleep? You going to be very grumpy, hungover in morning,” Alexei teased.

“Oh, fuck you,” Kent muttered, but put the glass of water on the nightstand after taking another sip, then tucked himself under Alexei’s blankets.

“Mmm, not now,” Alexei responded, and it was almost too quiet to hear— Kent wasn’t even sure if he _had_ heard it, wasn’t sure if he should respond just in case. Alexei was wrapping arms around him again, pulling him in close, and Kent sighed instead, curling up, knowing he was going to regret a lot of things in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave it to Kent to call someone "dude" while professing his love... Drunkenly...
> 
> So… if people like this… I might transform it into an expanded fic, with chapters??? Because holy hell, the Ideas in my head for this do not fit into a one-shot. I wanted to post this for Patater Week, though, as a shortened, tidbit version of what I’m hoping to create.
> 
> I don’t know the first thing about Russian but the German dictionary I trust with my life told me that’s “kitten” so I’m goin’ with it because Alexei calling Kent "kitten" is my #1 Weakness tbh.
> 
> Catch me on tumblr [@kentvparsin](http://kentvparsin.tumblr.com)! I’m always happy to talk about headcanons, and my ask box is open to ficlet prompts.


End file.
